[Natasha inclines her head, only slightly ironic as she gestures that yes, Peggy can call her that.
And she listens, her gaze intent as she listens and takes it in. While she knows she's not going to agree, she wants to pay the other woman that respect. She sees she can't be as familiar with Peggy as with Steve.
No real surprise.]
If you don't mind me saying, you look pretty lively for a ghost.
[It's still a jibe, but Natasha crosses her arms, which forestalls conversation as effectively as if she had raised a hand. She's not a tall or a imposing woman, objectively, but her posture projects a clear sense of control.]
I get what you're saying, and I understand what's holding Steve back. He's afraid he'll lose you. He's here and he's got you and Barnes, and he's got the Avengers. But he's lost a lot—all of us, at one point or another.
But being afraid you'll lose something again isn't a good reason not to grab onto something that's right in front of you and you are right in front of him.
Alive.
Young.
Large as life.
She raises her chin, her lips tightening and lashes fluttering briefly before she continues.
You're both right that this won't last, but nothing does. In our line of work? Any of us could be dead next week. [Example: Peggy dying the day of the UN bombing.] Any day there could be a mission, and we have to choose between the mission and running away with someone you're crazy about. But being fragile or brief doesn't make what we have less precious.
[ the grit of her teeth hints at the sentimentality beneath her stony expression. she's not half as stoic as she wants to be, not least of all in the face of genuine interest. genuine care. peggy survives the fleeting thought that maybe she might see in natasha a worthy successor of her affection.
peggy relents, but only so far as needed to take a seat on the corner of a latched crate. ] He told me his team was solid. He warned me you were good. [ a wry, mirthless smile. look at her, taking advice from a russian-trained spy. the world is very different to how it once was. ]
If I asked you whether he's found anyone else -- would you tell me the truth? Would it be a useless line of questioning?
Truthfully? I'm not asking it so I'll be made happy. [ ... ] Call it doing my due diligence. Having had a rather abrupt upload of fresh memories to my own mind, it's only fitting that I should expect the same to happen to Steve at some point.
[ and how cruel would that be? tying him to a dead relationship with new feelings on the horizon. she's sensitive to the possibility for no other reason than she can empathize with it. ]
He'd have plenty of opportunity if he wanted to take them. [Considering Steve, most of the women and probably no small number of the men working at SHIELD would jump on that if he showed any interest.] And I can't say he's been living in a convent.
But you're not going to be breaking up any happy homes.
[Things might get awkward if Sharon shows up, but Natasha can't be blamed for not knowing the extent of that. Or if she knows, considering it an acceptable risk.]
As intel goes, it's -- helpful. [ peggy exhales. something tense in her relaxes by degrees, as though providence now gives her permission to do precisely what natasha is suggesting she does. carpe diem. ] Sussing the information out from the man himself isn't all that helpful.
[ she can't trust steve not to lie to her on this matter. to spare her feelings, or perhaps to preserve what they've only been flirting with for the time being. ]
Lucky me. [ dry-like. peggy rakes fingers through her curls. ] What a bloody awful conversation you must have had with him, however. [ ... ] Did he blush?
[ let's not be too coy. peggy rather likes it when he blushes. ]
[ an amused snort. her would-be-beau, turned into a noun? not a bad curve of events. ]
I'm a good thing, am I? [ dry, still, but not without a verbal doffing of the cap. ] I suppose I should count myself fortunate for the approval of his friends.
Shall I be honest for a turn? [ a snort of nearly-laughter. ] It never really had the opportunity to 'work' before, either. Steve never even asked me for a date until he was already crashing -- at the time, it all felt very tragic.
Lately, it's more like annoying. [ with him in the fleet, it strips the moment of its rawer pain and she's left wondering how one man who's so brave could equally be so cowardly. ]
Leave it to him to finally find the guts when there's no chance he'll have to follow through. [She shakes her head a little. She can imagine the frustration, and also how strange it would be to have that tragedy taken away.]
Should I ask if you'd rather move on yourself?
[Because maybe she already had. Natasha suspected she knew the answer already, but it deserved a nod.]
I didn't. Not for a very long time. [ she sounds tired. the harder question, however, would have been who she'd been keen to move along with. but daniel has his bride-to-be, now.
and jason... ]
But time marched on. I accepted the inevitable. Nothing much serious has come of it -- just as well, because a great deal of that 'moving on' found itself undone. Here.
[ there's no reason to hide it, really. merely seeing a man she'd taken for dead had brought a part of her back to life. ]
There is that. [Natasha has to admit, that one is a mood killer.] I've heard you can man some extra money that way, but can't say I'm convinced it's worth it.
[ peggy isn't shy. it isn't as though she hasn't worked her better angles for the mission in the past. it isn't as though she wouldn't refrain from considering the pay-off in a different situation. but this is steve; it's as near as she's come to true honest-to-goodness love. it's the last thing she wants to cheapen with an audience. ]
It feels like it isn't. [ worth it. ] Until the moment he's gone, again, and I'll start kicking myself once more.
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And she listens, her gaze intent as she listens and takes it in. While she knows she's not going to agree, she wants to pay the other woman that respect. She sees she can't be as familiar with Peggy as with Steve.
No real surprise.]
If you don't mind me saying, you look pretty lively for a ghost.
[It's still a jibe, but Natasha crosses her arms, which forestalls conversation as effectively as if she had raised a hand. She's not a tall or a imposing woman, objectively, but her posture projects a clear sense of control.]
I get what you're saying, and I understand what's holding Steve back. He's afraid he'll lose you. He's here and he's got you and Barnes, and he's got the Avengers. But he's lost a lot—all of us, at one point or another.
But being afraid you'll lose something again isn't a good reason not to grab onto something that's right in front of you and you are right in front of him.
Alive.
Young.
Large as life.
She raises her chin, her lips tightening and lashes fluttering briefly before she continues.
You're both right that this won't last, but nothing does. In our line of work? Any of us could be dead next week. [Example: Peggy dying the day of the UN bombing.] Any day there could be a mission, and we have to choose between the mission and running away with someone you're crazy about. But being fragile or brief doesn't make what we have less precious.
Just the opposite.
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peggy relents, but only so far as needed to take a seat on the corner of a latched crate. ] He told me his team was solid. He warned me you were good. [ a wry, mirthless smile. look at her, taking advice from a russian-trained spy. the world is very different to how it once was. ]
If I asked you whether he's found anyone else -- would you tell me the truth? Would it be a useless line of questioning?
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[Natasha knows that kind of question isn't satisfied so easily.]
Is there an answer that will really make you happy?
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[ and how cruel would that be? tying him to a dead relationship with new feelings on the horizon. she's sensitive to the possibility for no other reason than she can empathize with it. ]
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[Then adding, for context.]
Not for lack of encouragement. No offense, but I'd have liked to see him getting out more.
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[ heaven knows, she's had to. ]
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But you're not going to be breaking up any happy homes.
[Things might get awkward if Sharon shows up, but Natasha can't be blamed for not knowing the extent of that. Or if she knows, considering it an acceptable risk.]
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[ she can't trust steve not to lie to her on this matter. to spare her feelings, or perhaps to preserve what they've only been flirting with for the time being. ]
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[A good one who's not above ratting out a friend for the right cause, apparently.]
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[ let's not be too coy. peggy rather likes it when he blushes. ]
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It was endearing.
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He's worse than a school-girl, sometimes.
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[Natasha is comfortably amused by that.]
You see why I felt like I had to get involved. Normally I'd let my friends handle heir own love lives, but when that friend is Steve...
He'll just Steve himself right out of a good thing.
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I'm a good thing, am I? [ dry, still, but not without a verbal doffing of the cap. ] I suppose I should count myself fortunate for the approval of his friends.
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[Natasha shrugs, philosophical about the fact that nothing lasts forever.]
What does in the end? It worked for a while.
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Lately, it's more like annoying. [ with him in the fleet, it strips the moment of its rawer pain and she's left wondering how one man who's so brave could equally be so cowardly. ]
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Should I ask if you'd rather move on yourself?
[Because maybe she already had. Natasha suspected she knew the answer already, but it deserved a nod.]
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and jason... ]
But time marched on. I accepted the inevitable. Nothing much serious has come of it -- just as well, because a great deal of that 'moving on' found itself undone. Here.
[ there's no reason to hide it, really. merely seeing a man she'd taken for dead had brought a part of her back to life. ]
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The supposed cameras don't do much for making it simple.
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It feels like it isn't. [ worth it. ] Until the moment he's gone, again, and I'll start kicking myself once more.
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I doubt you'll have to worry about too much exposure too soon, but that'd be something to talk to Steve about.
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