mucked | entranceway

Or the least of you.

[ she watches him -- eyes shrewd, and inside wondering what are the odds that she'd be saying this exact same thing to tony, now, that she once said to steve. ]

I know a little of what that's like.

And you've never used that to your own advantage?

[ he gives her a little look, not devoid of a smile ]

Besides, that's different and you know it.

Oh, piffle. [ yes. piffle. ] It's only barely different. Either way, it's about leveraging everyone else's expectations against them. Taking what's unfavourable and making it work for you.

[ a beat. ]

And not letting anyone else's opinions define you. [ ... ] Not where it matters.

[ she taps her heart. ]

Don't they, though?

[ define him, that is. ]

There's no paying the debt I owe to people. To my world. I've tried to for years before realizing it's not going to happen, maybe it's not what Iron Man should be about. Not about me.

[ he rolls his eyes ]

Shocking, I know.

Making good on your debt and being defined by it are two very different states, Tony. [ she cautions him. ] And you'd be wise not to confuse the two.

I spiraled the world into a mess.

[ The weapons, first, the New York attack, later, Ultron, Vision, the Infinity stones, the whole lot. ]

I put us on a road and I'm not sure where it's going to end.

[ or perhaps he does, he had seen the vision, after all. ]

I promised not to waste my life, I made that promise. I still want to keep it I'm just not sure how.

Frankly, I don't care.

[ now that's not accurate. she cares a lot about the state of the world, about what's going to happen to it, about the road taken to get it there. but that's not what tony needs right now -- never mind that he'd come to her door with ice cream as means of settling her concerns and sore feelings.

she leans in; she takes another scoop. ]

You can say all the shite you want about yourself, Tony, it doesn't change how real those words were: your debt and your definition needn't be the same thing.

[ Perhaps it doesn't but he, as always, deflects, finds another line of questioning he has always wanted to pursue: ]

Ok, I have to ask you something but you may not like it - but I did give you ice cream.

[ so that has to make up for it, surely. ]

A bribe, was it?

[ a rather delicious one. but there's something sour sitting just behind her expression -- as if she notices his deflection, takes umbrage with it, and won't let it slide by without some sort of fight. give it time. ]

Go on. Ask away.

[ she can't promise she'll answer. ]

Alright so until now in the months that I've been here, there was that time I drank too much and I yelled at you, and then the time when I was young and I hit on you and there was the time where Pepper left, yeah? and now Rogers is here and you're here and I think you're badass, aunt Peggy but.

[ but! ]

You're my go-person and I want to know if you have one. Not in a patronizing way, call it familial concern. I'm not asking who they are because, judging by the fact you were friends with my old man and you seem to like me and you liked Rogers - your taste in people in questionable - I'm just asking if there is one.

[ she purses her lips. he was right; it wasn't at all the sort of question she wanted to answer. he cautions her that it's not patronizing and, remarkably, she believes him. but it still cuts to the quick. why should she share the answer?

...it would have been easier if he'd asked her just about anything else. ]

I have my resources.

[ she answers a little stiffly. ]

One or two, at least.

[ a pregnant pause -- as though she's trying to gauge whether that answer is good enough or whether he'll take her to task on its vagueness. ]

[ well, this has gone a bit better than he thought it would. he nods, seems to be okay with what he has and then - ]

Two is good enough. I just.

[ he looks like he could kick himself and this is so stupid but still, he goes on. ]

Pepper said that while I don't have 99 personality flaws, I have about 36 which is fair, I suppose and she said I could lose sight of people if I focus too much on something else and I just wanted to make sure.

There's Jane, next door, and she's -- lovely.

[ this part is easy. talking about jane is easy. because peggy is just giddy enough over having a real and true friend, something akin to what angie could have been, that she almost seems eager to tell him about it.

she doesn't get to gush much about her friendships. it's a new strange feeling. so, almost as if to deflect away from her affection for the woman, she adds: ]

And I can't imagine you much want to hear about the other one.

[ the other resource, the other name, the other go-to person. ]

I know enough.

[ about the other one. Actually, he knows more about that one than he does about the one named Jane. ]

I'm not entirely self-centered.

He's a better man than he believes himself to be.

[ and, if pressed, peggy might suggest that tony and the other resource in question have that in common.

and actually... ] You know, it's not as though you don't make the list. [ ... ] Of people.

[ her people. the people she might actually confess to needing. ]

I wouldn't blame you if I didn't.

[ even when she's much younger, she's the one who he still goes to and yet, tony knows he's been unfair to her more than once. ]

But I'm glad. I didn't get to help you much, growing up. If I can, I'll do it. You know you mean the world to me, always have.

-- Tony.

[ she wags the spoon at him. ]

You're just about the only person I can talk to about Steve, you realize, and actually say the things I mean to say. It's not right to go and slander him to everyone else. And it's not as though... [ it's not as though she can comfortable discuss the man with rip hunter any longer. ]

You understand what it's like. What he's like. How he can be the best of us and still piss you off in spite of it. Maybe even because of it.

He doesn't piss me off.

[ and oddly enough, there isn't a word of lie there. ]

He used to, he used to be that friend I had that was way too uptight and righteous and yes, back then he pissed me off.

Oh, please. That man is as dear to me as anyone could be and he still pisses me off to no end.

[ tony might be speaking the truth -- but peggy, mild cynic that she is, doesn't quite believe him. maybe she still needs to vilify steve just a little. ]

At least your dad didn't make you sleep on his sheets for five years straight.

[ grumble ]

Take a moment, Tony, to think about your complaint. [ a beat. ] And then think about a few months ago when you tried to replace my sheets.

[ HONESTLY, like father like son. ]

I am deeply wounded by you, just so you know. I feel very exposed right now, talking about my feelings and you draw these comparisons. I hated Captain America, you think Iron Man is cute.

[ look at the amount of drama ]

There's a difference.

Oi.

[ she goes as far as rapping her spoon against the back of his knuckles. mmhm. ]

I never used the word cute.

Sweet, funny, charismatic -

[ he counts and wiggles his eyebrows at her ]

Downright adorable. I heard you say all of that, you absolutely did, you just don't remember.

[ TONY, you're a menace. ]

Even if -- even if -- I ever deigned to say any of that? It doesn't justify replacing my bed linens with something fit for a five year old.

[ really! ]

I have been trying to have company over a little more often. But you make unlocking my door a lot like Russian roulette.

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