[ she reads between his lines. since when does tony care about what anyone else things? who anyone else might welcome? no -- this is about her. she settles her hands on her hips. the kettle's close to boiling.
of course, peggy's words come out too harsh. too cold. she reins it in just a little. ]
All of us would be better off shot of this place. [ a huff. it's a clumsy save. ] I wouldn't wish Wonderland on my worst enemy, let alone him.
I won't lie about it. This place is hell and it's evolving and in a week, it could be worse than hell and we need help. I can invent and create but we both know I can't inspire these people. That's his job, he's here now, I can stop trying.
[ and at the same time -- ]
I do want him here. But there's me wanting help and there's actually dealing with him being here. He's going to do his job and be good at it and I want him to and I'll hate him for it anyway.
[ he shrugs ]
It's just how things go. It's all I can give, it's literally my best offer.
[ at least when the kettle kicks into high gear, it provides peggy with an excuse to turn away and fuss over the mugs, the tea, the ceremony of it all. there's a tautness in her shoulders that she wishes she could school away.
because she can empathize with tony's neediness. that desire to see steve swoop in and fix things, to play his part, to rise to the occasion and the symbol of it all. how many times (silently and shamefully and in her darkest moments) during the last few years, back home, did she wish she had him at her side?
without turning back: ]
I wish the world would just be done with him. [ her sadness comes through like aggression. ] Let the bastard rest. He deserves it.
And I wish I could marry Pepper on some faraway beach, have a baby boy and name him Morgan and have a girl and maybe name her after you.
[ he gets up, he places a hand on her shoulder. ]
I know. It sucks. I wish I could say this place didn't need him, I wish I could say the world doesn't need Iron Man, that I can retire and build Pepper the house in Vermont she always wanted.
[ she resists, at first, but ultimately turns to face tony. and the tea steps where she leaves it. one mug for him; one mug for her. whenever he visits she always drinks out of the mug shaped like iron man's helmet. it's become a kind of endearing indulgence between the pair of them. ]
I'd only just grown accustomed to the idea of not seeing him again. [ a touch too honest. more honest than she can be with the others -- especially rip, who was normally a vessel for her all her most truthful statements. but she can't unpack this particular handbag with him; it wouldn't be fair. ]
[ Tony may not know much about the history between these two, only that there is history. There are layers of it, all that came before Wonderland and all that came before Steve's departure. He wasn't there for either of them and he doesn't ask, either. He has grown to understand, however, that one doesn't necessarily need to know in order to help. She had helped him when he reached Wonderland, injured and hurting and had done so again and again afterwards.
Whatever happened, Rogers' arrival pains her in a whole other way than it does him. ]
And that's when Wonderland brought him back.
[ It sucks. He sighs, rolls his eyes, pulls her into a determined sort of embrace. ]
I would kick it in the balls if I could find out where they were.
peggy breaks his hold -- just long enough to collect her mug, to wrap her fingers around the ceramic iron man mask, and beeline for the sofa. she wants to sit; she wants to mire a while in her bad mood. ]
[ he doesn't sit, not at first. he paces for a moment more, trying to let out some nervous energy that seems to linger in his bones. he rubs a hand over his face and looks at her. ]
You'll the only one I'll queue behind. I hope you understand that. You can't hold that place in the line for anyone else.
I think there might be a candidate or two who could deserve that place held for them, you realize.
[ no one peggy knows. at least, not that she's aware of. but she can't help but believe there are people here who have gotten a shorter end of the stick than the pair of them. ]
[ tony talks. peggy, for her part, is trying rather hard to listen. it's not often that she finds her powers of perception so crowded out of her own head -- but today it proves a struggle. her eyes meet his eyes, she tightens her hold on the mug, and starts talking before she starts thinking: ]
It was him. [ she breathes out the admission. ] Barnes. That's who Steve was so embroiled with, last time, that...
[ she'd told bits and pieces to tony, already. the fact that steve had found romance elsewhere. and deep down she knows she shouldn't be telling him this piece at all. it'll only make a strained peace all the more tenuous. ]
If he shows up again -- I can't promise I won't break his nose.
[ not quite as dire as what tony suggests, maybe, but there's a telling pained edge to it. and a mild censure, too, that tony should know better than to even imply death. ]
[ but the man he met the other day was drunk and tony half suspected it might have been linked to his aunt, if only because he found Rip Hunter in a similar state.
Which means - ]
He doesn't remember does he? That part?
[ if he did, it'd be too easy. of course it's going to be complicated. ]
[ and tony's right. that missing memory makes it hard. because suddenly she'd been the bearer of twice the bad news. and steve, the ruddy decent bastard that he is, he apologized for it. ]
And I didn't tell him. [ she knocks back a mouthful of hot hot tea. ] Not everything, at any rate. I told him that he'd gotten himself involved with someone else, last time, and that I'd been holding a grudge. I didn't tell him who.
[ peggy doesn't want to talk about it. not with steve. for fear, maybe, that he might turn around and tell her those feelings for barnes had been there all the time -- that she'd been reading him wrong right to the very end. ]
Great. So he doesn't remember being a total douche and none of us can actually blame him for it since it's not his doing. He always does that. Somehow He gets away with things. He'll write you an apology letter tomorrow for things he can't remember and he'll still be sorry about because he's nice and decent that way.
Oh, tempting though it is -- [ she holds onto tony's hand ] -- I may have actually had my fill of drink these past few days.
[ martinis (of all things!) with jane. scotch alone. and then there was rip, once she'd come across him, pickling in his own conclusions. oh yes. peggy's looking a little worn around her edges.
You know, before that one, I was off dairy? I promised Pepper - no dairy, no red meat.
[ he gets up, wanders to the minifridge and takes out an ice cream tube ]
Stark Raving Hazelnuts. It's brilliant, half of those came with an Iron Man action figure. This one doesn't but I have a feeling I can search long enough to add it into your collection.
[ she waves him in the direction of the tea cart -- suggesting, then, that it might be the only place to find spoons in her modest studio apartment. it's not as if she keeps a cutlery drawer. but there are few teaspoons sitting upright in a cup beside the kettle. next to a sugar dish, actually, despite the fact that peggy doesn't take hers sweet. ]
I wouldn't call it a collection. [ a beat. ] It's something more like one man's lost and found.
[ he argues and tosses a spoon at her general direction ]
It shows your great pride. I can't whip up a picture of me from when I was five, I know what will happen. You'll show it to people and tell them, 'oh yeah that's my nephew, look how cute he was, I have no idea what happened'.
[ a snort of laughter. he's incorrigible, yes, but he has a way of brightening her bleak mood. they might both of them find themselves in an emotional pickle now that rogers is here, but his arrival doesn't spin this relationship of its axis. they find their beat and rhythm like they have for a while now -- almost since the day tony arrived. ]
What makes you so certain I don't already tell people a variation on the same?
[ He takes a spoon for himself and claims his seat once more. It cheers him up, getting to hear her laugh. It feels like a small victory against Wonderland. Honestly, it's a roller coaster - his whole stay here has been but it does feel just a bit better now. ]
Do you?
[ it seems like the thought is encouraging in its own right. ]
I mean, not that I can't imagine the shocked, 'not that douche?' but then you can always tell them I can do a double Windsor in my sleep so you obviously taught me something.
Try not to take it too personally, [ she counters, ] but tend not to go out of my way to defend your honour. As it were.
[ which has less to do with tony's bad behaviour and much much more to do with the fact that peggy isn't the sort to play verbal white knight for anyone -- unless it's a moment that really truly matters. she saves her emphasis for actions.
like right now when she, vulnerable, lets her enjoyment show after she samples a bit of ice cream. ]
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[ she reads between his lines. since when does tony care about what anyone else things? who anyone else might welcome? no -- this is about her. she settles her hands on her hips. the kettle's close to boiling.
of course, peggy's words come out too harsh. too cold. she reins it in just a little. ]
All of us would be better off shot of this place. [ a huff. it's a clumsy save. ] I wouldn't wish Wonderland on my worst enemy, let alone him.
[ let alone you. ]
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[ he says, he admits, he argues. ]
I won't lie about it. This place is hell and it's evolving and in a week, it could be worse than hell and we need help. I can invent and create but we both know I can't inspire these people. That's his job, he's here now, I can stop trying.
[ and at the same time -- ]
I do want him here. But there's me wanting help and there's actually dealing with him being here. He's going to do his job and be good at it and I want him to and I'll hate him for it anyway.
[ he shrugs ]
It's just how things go. It's all I can give, it's literally my best offer.
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because she can empathize with tony's neediness. that desire to see steve swoop in and fix things, to play his part, to rise to the occasion and the symbol of it all. how many times (silently and shamefully and in her darkest moments) during the last few years, back home, did she wish she had him at her side?
without turning back: ]
I wish the world would just be done with him. [ her sadness comes through like aggression. ] Let the bastard rest. He deserves it.
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[ he gets up, he places a hand on her shoulder. ]
I know. It sucks. I wish I could say this place didn't need him, I wish I could say the world doesn't need Iron Man, that I can retire and build Pepper the house in Vermont she always wanted.
[ he tugs on her elbow. ]
Maybe one day we'll get there.
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I'd only just grown accustomed to the idea of not seeing him again. [ a touch too honest. more honest than she can be with the others -- especially rip, who was normally a vessel for her all her most truthful statements. but she can't unpack this particular handbag with him; it wouldn't be fair. ]
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Whatever happened, Rogers' arrival pains her in a whole other way than it does him. ]
And that's when Wonderland brought him back.
[ It sucks. He sighs, rolls his eyes, pulls her into a determined sort of embrace. ]
I would kick it in the balls if I could find out where they were.
[ Wonderland's, that is. ]
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peggy breaks his hold -- just long enough to collect her mug, to wrap her fingers around the ceramic iron man mask, and beeline for the sofa. she wants to sit; she wants to mire a while in her bad mood. ]
You'd have to get in queue behind me.
[ a huff. ]
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You'll the only one I'll queue behind. I hope you understand that. You can't hold that place in the line for anyone else.
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[ no one peggy knows. at least, not that she's aware of. but she can't help but believe there are people here who have gotten a shorter end of the stick than the pair of them. ]
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[ Realize, that is. ]
If I meet them, I might listen. There's like -- a solid 65% of me listening to them. That's a good shot, it's more than most people have.
[ Rogers is here, he is here, Pepper isn't and home is in flames. That's enough to earn him a solid second spot in the line.
He's more than willing to give her the first spot, however. ]
I can deal with him being here. The place needs him, he needs a purpose and a shave, I can live with that.
[ finally, he sits, he gives her a look. ]
You were right. We didn't fight. I can't promise you the same if Barnes shows up. You said last time they were both here. If he -
[ he shakes his head. ]
I don't know. I can't promise.
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It was him. [ she breathes out the admission. ] Barnes. That's who Steve was so embroiled with, last time, that...
[ she'd told bits and pieces to tony, already. the fact that steve had found romance elsewhere. and deep down she knows she shouldn't be telling him this piece at all. it'll only make a strained peace all the more tenuous. ]
If he shows up again -- I can't promise I won't break his nose.
[ not quite as dire as what tony suggests, maybe, but there's a telling pained edge to it. and a mild censure, too, that tony should know better than to even imply death. ]
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Which means - ]
He doesn't remember does he? That part?
[ if he did, it'd be too easy. of course it's going to be complicated. ]
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[ and tony's right. that missing memory makes it hard. because suddenly she'd been the bearer of twice the bad news. and steve, the ruddy decent bastard that he is, he apologized for it. ]
And I didn't tell him. [ she knocks back a mouthful of hot hot tea. ] Not everything, at any rate. I told him that he'd gotten himself involved with someone else, last time, and that I'd been holding a grudge. I didn't tell him who.
[ peggy doesn't want to talk about it. not with steve. for fear, maybe, that he might turn around and tell her those feelings for barnes had been there all the time -- that she'd been reading him wrong right to the very end. ]
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[ how does that always, always!! happen. ]
God, I want to punch him.
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He already did. Well, there was no letter -- but he said sorry all the same. Sat right there, [ she gestures to tony's very seat, ] and ate crow.
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[ but after a moment, he lays the heavy sarcasm to rest and covers her hand with his. ]
You want me to get you my good scotch?
[ look, he tries not to drink anymore but one has to admit, this could be counted as an exception. ]
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[ martinis (of all things!) with jane. scotch alone. and then there was rip, once she'd come across him, pickling in his own conclusions. oh yes. peggy's looking a little worn around her edges.
but with a glimpse at the minifridge... ]
But I'm curious about that ice cream you brought.
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[ he gets up, wanders to the minifridge and takes out an ice cream tube ]
Stark Raving Hazelnuts. It's brilliant, half of those came with an Iron Man action figure. This one doesn't but I have a feeling I can search long enough to add it into your collection.
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I wouldn't call it a collection. [ a beat. ] It's something more like one man's lost and found.
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[ he argues and tosses a spoon at her general direction ]
It shows your great pride. I can't whip up a picture of me from when I was five, I know what will happen. You'll show it to people and tell them, 'oh yeah that's my nephew, look how cute he was, I have no idea what happened'.
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What makes you so certain I don't already tell people a variation on the same?
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Do you?
[ it seems like the thought is encouraging in its own right. ]
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I've mentioned, off-hand and a couple of times, that I've got a nephew in the mansion. Yes.
[ even in this, she plays coy. ]
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[ He asks, he tries his luck. ]
I mean, not that I can't imagine the shocked, 'not that douche?' but then you can always tell them I can do a double Windsor in my sleep so you obviously taught me something.
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[ which has less to do with tony's bad behaviour and much much more to do with the fact that peggy isn't the sort to play verbal white knight for anyone -- unless it's a moment that really truly matters. she saves her emphasis for actions.
like right now when she, vulnerable, lets her enjoyment show after she samples a bit of ice cream. ]
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