[ It's something Remi hasn't wanted to consider. She doesn't want to be weak and pathetic, crying to everyone who'll listen to the sob story she's painted for herself. ]
It's about Jane thinking just because she can't remember, that I'm not a part of her, even now.
She thinks what led her to the life she has now was cold-blooded calculation. She has no idea. She won't even TRY to remember what I went through.
What we both went through.
[ And now what does Remi have to show for it? Nothing. She's the one who remembers murdered parents on the living room floor, being kidnapped, forced to kill, all of it. All of the terrible things before Shepherd and every terrible thing after. Remi has to live in it, every day, and Jane gets Avery and a husband and a baby. ]
[ scrawled in lipstick and asked like a question. does remi consider herself to be the same person as jane, at heart? rather than a wholly different creature? ]
It doesn't fall to me to stand in judgment of what you do or don't deserve.
[ maybe -- maybe -- she could see herself feeling sympathy for the real remi. but what is this but a construct? a reflection? a byproduct of being here? it's harder to stir anything in her heart. ]
But it does sound as though you're awfully preoccupied with the question.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ it's a non-answer. given only to buy herself a bit of time before she adds: ]
There's something to be said for tidying up our own messes. Her circumstances are...exceptional. It can't be denied.
no subject
[ There's a moment before that's erased and replaced with something else. ]
What if the ZIP eventually wears off? No one knows what that much does to a person. She could wake up as me tomorrow.
no subject
Is that what this is about?
no subject
It's about Jane thinking just because she can't remember, that I'm not a part of her, even now.
no subject
[ keep the mirror talking about herself. that's the hope. ]
no subject
Friends who don't seem to care.
If I'd known turning over a new leaf was as easy as erasing everything to better pretend it doesn't exist, I'd have done it years ago.
no subject
no subject
What we both went through.
[ And now what does Remi have to show for it? Nothing. She's the one who remembers murdered parents on the living room floor, being kidnapped, forced to kill, all of it. All of the terrible things before Shepherd and every terrible thing after. Remi has to live in it, every day, and Jane gets Avery and a husband and a baby. ]
no subject
[ pieces of it, at any rate. ]
no subject
There are some things you can't come back from. No matter how much she tries to erase, her past will catch up to her one day.
As her friend, you should remind her of that.
no subject
[ peggy might not befriend many or often, but she's not about to let a mirror lecture her on how it's done.
ponies and butlers can give her those lessons, maybe. but not mirrors. ]
no subject
I'm glad she has you.
we never had that before now.
no subject
[ scrawled in lipstick and asked like a question. does remi consider herself to be the same person as jane, at heart? rather than a wholly different creature? ]
no subject
she tries to pretend that it does.
no subject
[ and if jane never bothered to correct that alteration? well. good riddance, thinks peggy carter. ]
no subject
Is that what I deserve? To be erased?
no subject
[ maybe -- maybe -- she could see herself feeling sympathy for the real remi. but what is this but a construct? a reflection? a byproduct of being here? it's harder to stir anything in her heart. ]
But it does sound as though you're awfully preoccupied with the question.
no subject
[ She scowls and then erases that to write more. ]
everything she has, I was told I could never have, and she only has it because of me.
no subject
[ because whoever jane is, she was remi once. there aren't two of them running around at the same time like here.
...she doesn't think. oi, what a headache. ]
no subject
Maybe one day we'll sit down together so she can tell me all about what it's like to hold my - our - daughter again.
[ It all comes across like jealousy and make it is, with a touch of self-loathing. ]
no subject
[ ha. ]
no subject
not right now. they all hate me too much for it right now.
no subject
no subject
facing me would mean actually facing her past. Until she's ready to do that, I'll always be the uncomfortable afterthought.
no subject
[ peggy, for her part, imagines jane is ready to face anything. ]
(no subject)