[ -- peggy isn't a natural clown. or a clown at all, really. but she does like to elicit laughter in others. there's a kind of victory in it: it feels more like a white flag, on the other person's part, than a simple smile ever does. laughter can be so sudden and thoughtless and instinctive. she knows she's taken a good path when she hears it burst out of a person.
so she chases that triumph a little further. ]
I was still in school. So, ages ago. I broke into the headmaster's quarters. Honestly, the stunt was all about stealing a bunch of his wife's, ah, [ a crinkle of her nose ] delicate things. But I got greedy and went back for brandy. Good stuff, too.
Or it would have been had I not gotten caught red-, and white-, and silk-handed in the middle of the bedroom.
[ she hides her expression behind another sip of tea. ]
Heavens, I pray I didn't punish you the way Portley punished me.
-- Knowing when not to say something is every bit as important as its opposite. [ knowing when to speak, when to shout, when to protest from the rooftops. but even outside of an affection for the young(er) tony, she can at least imagine a situation wherein keeping his secrets would keep her in his better books. something someone needed to do, evidently, if howard was failing him.
peggy's posture relaxes in her chair. once upon a time, she suspects howard absolutely would have understood. but perhaps that's the problem: the father might have seen a son too similar to him and descended harshly upon that reflection. peggy, on the other hand, can already see those little bits that remind her of a friendship she misses. it's easier for her to cherish the similarities. ]
Oi, I'll have you know the eggs are a Carter family tradition. Practically.
Traumatizing. That's a bit dramatic, don't you think?
[ honestly! these avengers and their drama -- as though she, herself, isn't prone to a theatrical description or three. peggy leans an elbow on the desk and watches him fondly. ]
[ in her defense, she was never much of a nursemaid. ]
Eggs are wholesome things. That's what. [ it stands to reason, doesn't it? but she's teasing and she's not looking to pour eggs or anything down his throat, just now, except for tea and tea and more tea. ]
it did work, I'll give you that. it was horrible but it worked. you were right.
[ he looks at her. ]
You were right about the events, too. I am scared. If they unleash that on this place, when people have nowhere to run - I don't know if I can help. I don't know if when the time comes, I won't - be useless. the man in the can.
why does it bother her so much? the words stick there, working through her thoughts, upsetting her. tony's right, of course. these events are horrifying. they have a way of flensing open every wound and weakness, and peggy has never felt as uncertain of her own abilities as she does now. here. ]
I know a little of how that feels. [ tartarus, that event, the one where she'd played useful and heroic but ultimately had depended on tony to see her through the tower. although tony does speak of something different -- not of a lack of ability, but a lack of fortitude in the face of his demons. ] Mister Jarvis would tell us both we'd -- need each other, likely, to see us through.
[ Like the old man said, together, he told his worst of creations once. jarvis' words ring true, so do steve's. in the end, if the aliens come again, differences will have to be put aside, so would tony's issues and resentments.
but there's a long way between understanding something and applying it. he nods, however, if only because it's easier with her. ]
Provided you can stomach hitching your cart to another 'baseline human,' [ peggy says. wry, a little childish, and lashing out at someone who definitely isn't in the room just now. it spills out before she thinks better of it.
she covers, gentling her tone: ] I'm prepared to have your back. Certainly.
Not me. [ not exactly. her lips press together. he doesn't need this, it occurs to her. he doesn't need something else to put fire in his veins. ] It's -- someone else said it. Doesn't much matter. But there are people in these parts who seem less than enthusiastic about those of us who aren't enhanced in some way making a go at defending ourselves.
[ okay, so that's not exactly how it went down. but it's how peggy's spinning her little unreliable narrative. ]
Trust me. [ a quiet beat. peggy toys her fingertips along the edge of her teacup. ] It wouldn't have helped.
[ but the thought makes her mouth tick up into a smile. objectively, she knows she can still be a valuable force in the trials and tribulations faced by this mansion. she doesn't feel down on herself, exactly, but those words would have held far less sting if they'd come from anyone but him. ]
Although a solid right hook would usually be a fine remedy for such a bull-headed attitude. Yes.
[ ...oh, for god's sake tony stark. peggy rolls her eyes. yes, she can guess. no, she won't be rushing to the unidentified someone's defense. but perhaps her expression of exasperation is defense enough. ]
And here I was under the impression you didn't know when to hold your tongue.
[ she could say a lot. she could say it's not what tony thinks it is -- but peggy's also not interested in defining anything for him, for herself, for the unnamed other person. she's made a friend, she thinks, and that is a feat in and of itself. there's no use poisoning the well by making a fuss over it.
she wants tony's affection, yes. but she doesn't need his approval. ]
It's still bloody strange being called that. [ an aunt. anyone's aunt. his, sharon's, anyone's. ] How would you feel if I went around introducing you as a nephew, hm?
[ a soft question -- one he doesn't have to answer if he can't find the energy. ]
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so she chases that triumph a little further. ]
I was still in school. So, ages ago. I broke into the headmaster's quarters. Honestly, the stunt was all about stealing a bunch of his wife's, ah, [ a crinkle of her nose ] delicate things. But I got greedy and went back for brandy. Good stuff, too.
Or it would have been had I not gotten caught red-, and white-, and silk-handed in the middle of the bedroom.
[ she hides her expression behind another sip of tea. ]
Heavens, I pray I didn't punish you the way Portley punished me.
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[ he never did anything like that. what a shame. ]
No. The egg-poison thing was really all the punishment I got.
[ he pauses before adding. ]
you didn't tell, [ howard, that is ] and it - I appreciated it. he wouldn't have understood.
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peggy's posture relaxes in her chair. once upon a time, she suspects howard absolutely would have understood. but perhaps that's the problem: the father might have seen a son too similar to him and descended harshly upon that reflection. peggy, on the other hand, can already see those little bits that remind her of a friendship she misses. it's easier for her to cherish the similarities. ]
Oi, I'll have you know the eggs are a Carter family tradition. Practically.
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[ the memory alone makes him shudder and put his head down again. ]
I think I prefer the fairy cake, just saying.
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[ honestly! these avengers and their drama -- as though she, herself, isn't prone to a theatrical description or three. peggy leans an elbow on the desk and watches him fondly. ]
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[ okay so maybe a bit dramatic. ]
you know, you forced it down my throat when I was sick, too. what is it with you and eggs?
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Eggs are wholesome things. That's what. [ it stands to reason, doesn't it? but she's teasing and she's not looking to pour eggs or anything down his throat, just now, except for tea and tea and more tea. ]
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[ but he's still smiling. ]
it did work, I'll give you that. it was horrible but it worked. you were right.
[ he looks at her. ]
You were right about the events, too. I am scared. If they unleash that on this place, when people have nowhere to run - I don't know if I can help. I don't know if when the time comes, I won't - be useless. the man in the can.
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why does it bother her so much? the words stick there, working through her thoughts, upsetting her. tony's right, of course. these events are horrifying. they have a way of flensing open every wound and weakness, and peggy has never felt as uncertain of her own abilities as she does now. here. ]
I know a little of how that feels. [ tartarus, that event, the one where she'd played useful and heroic but ultimately had depended on tony to see her through the tower. although tony does speak of something different -- not of a lack of ability, but a lack of fortitude in the face of his demons. ] Mister Jarvis would tell us both we'd -- need each other, likely, to see us through.
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but there's a long way between understanding something and applying it. he nods, however, if only because it's easier with her. ]
team up, you mean.
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she covers, gentling her tone: ] I'm prepared to have your back. Certainly.
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[ he doesn't seem to understand the meaning or the context of the word, he tilts his head. ]
You make it sound like a bad thing.
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[ okay, so that's not exactly how it went down. but it's how peggy's spinning her little unreliable narrative. ]
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[ it reminds him of a fight he once had with steve, the accusations they threw at each other when they only first met. ]
that should close the case.
[ well, it's one method, anyway. ]
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[ but the thought makes her mouth tick up into a smile. objectively, she knows she can still be a valuable force in the trials and tribulations faced by this mansion. she doesn't feel down on herself, exactly, but those words would have held far less sting if they'd come from anyone but him. ]
Although a solid right hook would usually be a fine remedy for such a bull-headed attitude. Yes.
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[ so it wouldn't do to rule out the baseline human folk. ]
wait 'till that happens and when they sound the all clear, punch them in the face. you'll feel lots better. it's classic.
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[ story of her ruddy life, basically. ]
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[ and he winks and pillows his head again. ]
not that I'm encouraging violence or anything.
[ not at all. nope. ]
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[ after all, next time tony mucks up she's allowed to hit him. that was the agreement, wasn't it? ]
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it wouldn't be the first or the last time I'll get punched and deserve it.
[ it's really become a habit by now, tony stark getting his ass handed to him for his mistake. ]
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Good of you to admit so. [ a beat. ] But which grade-A moron, as you've so eloquently put it, would you nominate first?
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[ but it's said with an annoying little smile. as if she can already guess even when he's not saying anything. ]
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And here I was under the impression you didn't know when to hold your tongue.
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[ he keeps eyes his closed, allows himself to inch a little closer into the almost foreign embrace of sleep. ]
even if it from my aunt.
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she wants tony's affection, yes. but she doesn't need his approval. ]
It's still bloody strange being called that. [ an aunt. anyone's aunt. his, sharon's, anyone's. ] How would you feel if I went around introducing you as a nephew, hm?
[ a soft question -- one he doesn't have to answer if he can't find the energy. ]
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