If it's true, and you did -- good God -- study me? [ well, that makes her nauseous. ] Then I hope the history books got enough right to help you realize I don't much need anyone else ensuring my safety.
[ or -- dear lord, is her official record doomed to be as ridiculous as that godawful captain america radio programme? the one with arlene french playing playing the poor besotted 'betty carver', captured by the germans at ever damn turn?
[ once again, she holds up a hand. steady; mitigating, almost. perhaps it says something about her life that she expects people to take a bit more guff than this. or else she windmills her way through life, preemptively swinging against the expectation of being talked over; underestimated; sidelined. ]
Heinous as it is, [ dramatic, yes, ] I'd rather you stay.
[ she doesn't want to risk who else she might get stuck with just to make this ludicrous living arrangement work. ]
[ -- how bizarre to be compared to a relative not yet born. peggy offers a shake of her head. ]
I'm not fond of fuss, no. I'll cop to that. [ but she's been surrounded by fuss her whole life. unlike with fitz, however, that fuss has been thoroughly dismissive. frustrating though it is, as nauseated as it makes her, fitz's exuberance and uncertainty don't make peggy angry in the same way. ]
[ another person might have corrected him by now. another person might have argued that agent carter or even miss carter would suffice. but she's comfortable with formalities. she lets it slide; in time, she might come to appreciate the respect. rather than look at it in its gift horse's mouth. ]
Clever as you are, Agent Fitz, I rather suspect it won't. [ happen again. ]
[He doesn't respond to her after that. There aren't any words left. He's embarrassed her, probably. Sharon accused him of being a pervert; is that what she'll think now too?
It should have been Jemma. Jemma would have handled this better.]
[ small mercies, maybe, that her thoughts couldn't be further from any conclusion involving perversion. instead, peggy's stuck mildly miffed that the fellow doesn't have a bit more fight in him. it's odd to take swings, even verbal ones, at someone who doesn't swing back. it can't all be blamed on the cult of personality she's doomed to possess some seven decades in the future, can it?
regardless, the silence seems to stretch. peggy watches him with a pensive look. it takes a little while, but! ]
[ all over the world. it's an impressive notion, albeit also a chilling one. the world is wide wide net; at times, it's difficult to cope with operating as a single agent in america.
she gives in and rubs at a temple. peggy doesn't have a headache, but she could imagine the beginnings of one forming behind her eyes. ]
I can only imagine the sort of infrastructure and organization that requires. [ and because she's curious! ] How much of it is built on the backs of SSR facilities?
[ she knows enough, then, to understand that one came before the other. ]
[If this is a pop quiz on SHIELD history, Fitz is happy to oblige.]
All of it, Ma'am. Not concurrently, but all of the SSR was eventually absorbed into SHIELD. The major SSR facility was eventually repurposed into the SHIELD Academy of Science and Technology. It's. Where I did the bulk of my training. Vastly superior to the Academy of Operations.
[ she echoes -- amused, and betraying a ghost of a smile. she doesn't need to be versed in shield's organization to easily guess the difference between the two academies named. ]
One assumes back home the different cogs were meant to work in tandem. Bit easier to let bygones be bygones when you're all putting the shoulder to the wheel together. Here?
[ -- peggy shrugs. she doesn't need to have been here for more than a month to realize that it's tougher to carve out progress. perhaps that's why fitz's portal remains so deeply impressive. ]
Here, the more appropriate metaphor must be to say we're spinning our wheels instead.
[ and for what it's worth, she's always held a kind of contempt for the field agents who failed to learn the scientists' names. samberly might be a pain in the arse, but he'd been right to call daniel out on his neglect. ]
[ she thinks about jack thompson. and then about vernon masters. ]
-- It always does, I fear. Regardless of the letters involved or in what order they're listed.
[ ssr or shield. perhaps it's not the cheeriest message from the woman who's meant to go on and co-found the latter, but it's certainly where her philosophy is currently residing. ]
I wish the director was here. He's always known what to say to make everyone come together. We're all a bit lost without him.
[He bites the edge of his thumbnail.]
But we aren't the ones who need help. It's about the lot of them. And every time one of them suffers and dies, that's on our heads for not rallying together and being the shield.
[ being the shield. the more she hears it, the more she fears the reason behind the name. how glaringly sentimental; peggy's almost embarrassed by the easy connection that might be made between the object, the man who carried it, and the letters put in that particular order.
and as for fitz's earnest desire to help! well. it isn't always possible to help those who don't want to be helped. she hasn't been here long enough to know whether or not his assessment is sound. rather than nitpick and argue for the sake of it, she herds him back to a subject that might see him speak a little more brightly. ]
Would you tell me about him? Your director. [ a pause. ] That ought to be a safe enough subject.
[He smiles, genuinely. It isn't often that he has the opportunity to gush about one of his favorite people.]
He's patient, and fair... But more than people usually understand. I've worked with him since before his promotion. He knows when to be stern and when to be soft. He knows when to push me and make me keep going when I'm ready to give up. He knows exactly what to say no matter who he's talking to. And the biggest Captain America fan I've ever known.
[He's like the father he's always wished for.]
Keeps the base far too bloody cold, though. You might as well bring ice skates to work.
[ he sounds wonderful. and lodged in her chest is a burst of warmth for something that might yet be. something worthwhile, even if she still finds it difficult to stomach her part in its creation. she's never felt like the sort of person who built things or grew things or brought things into existence. rather, she's been a breaker all her life: rules; codes; noses.
maybe, in time, she could be like the man fitz describes. patient and fair. although she'll leave the 'fan' element to someone else. peggy carter may be steve rogers's biggest fan, but she cares a great deal less about captain america. the two remain ever separate in her thoughts. ]
He must be quite a man to work with. [ with, not for. although she finds it telling that fitz should find himself so familiar with shield's director that he can speak so familiarly about the man. it says something about fitz's stature within the organization, even if he'd not meant to express it. ] Decent leaders are difficult to find in any time, I imagine.
[ there's no mistaking who he means. the captain. peggy's attention snags on the word -- and although it's well guarded, there's nevertheless a spark of investment found in her reaction.
fitz says so little, and yet offers so much. it's as if someone held out a box of chocolates; she can't help herself. ]
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So many mistakes were made.
His eyes find the floor and stay there, fingers tangling up with one another.]
Well. Um. Jemma and I -- studied you at the academy. And we thought.
...Well I suppose it doesn't much matter what we thought...
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[ or -- dear lord, is her official record doomed to be as ridiculous as that godawful captain america radio programme? the one with arlene french playing playing the poor besotted 'betty carver', captured by the germans at ever damn turn?
damn. now she looks queasy. ]
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I'm sorry -- I shouldn't have -- I didn't mean to --
I can go. If you want.
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[ once again, she holds up a hand. steady; mitigating, almost. perhaps it says something about her life that she expects people to take a bit more guff than this. or else she windmills her way through life, preemptively swinging against the expectation of being talked over; underestimated; sidelined. ]
Heinous as it is, [ dramatic, yes, ] I'd rather you stay.
[ she doesn't want to risk who else she might get stuck with just to make this ludicrous living arrangement work. ]
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[It's not that he doesn't believe her. It's just that she's not saying anything that makes much sense after what he's just told her.]
I just thought -- well. Sharon didn't take kindly to all of the fuss, and I thought you might react the same.
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I'm not fond of fuss, no. I'll cop to that. [ but she's been surrounded by fuss her whole life. unlike with fitz, however, that fuss has been thoroughly dismissive. frustrating though it is, as nauseated as it makes her, fitz's exuberance and uncertainty don't make peggy angry in the same way. ]
But now you know better.
[ you get one freebie, agent fitz. ]
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Clever as you are, Agent Fitz, I rather suspect it won't. [ happen again. ]
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It should have been Jemma. Jemma would have handled this better.]
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regardless, the silence seems to stretch. peggy watches him with a pensive look. it takes a little while, but! ]
You know, I'm relieved you're not all Americans.
[ well why not. ]
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Still, it's nice when she speaks next. Does this mean he hasn't completely alienated her?]
You aren't the only one. It's American based and funded, but we've got agents from all over the world.
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she gives in and rubs at a temple. peggy doesn't have a headache, but she could imagine the beginnings of one forming behind her eyes. ]
I can only imagine the sort of infrastructure and organization that requires. [ and because she's curious! ] How much of it is built on the backs of SSR facilities?
[ she knows enough, then, to understand that one came before the other. ]
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All of it, Ma'am. Not concurrently, but all of the SSR was eventually absorbed into SHIELD. The major SSR facility was eventually repurposed into the SHIELD Academy of Science and Technology. It's. Where I did the bulk of my training. Vastly superior to the Academy of Operations.
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[ she echoes -- amused, and betraying a ghost of a smile. she doesn't need to be versed in shield's organization to easily guess the difference between the two academies named. ]
I suppose the rivalry never ends.
[ field and lab, their horns forever locked. ]
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One assumes back home the different cogs were meant to work in tandem. Bit easier to let bygones be bygones when you're all putting the shoulder to the wheel together. Here?
[ -- peggy shrugs. she doesn't need to have been here for more than a month to realize that it's tougher to carve out progress. perhaps that's why fitz's portal remains so deeply impressive. ]
Here, the more appropriate metaphor must be to say we're spinning our wheels instead.
[ and for what it's worth, she's always held a kind of contempt for the field agents who failed to learn the scientists' names. samberly might be a pain in the arse, but he'd been right to call daniel out on his neglect. ]
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There've been attempts to revive SHIELD here. It keeps getting muddled up in people's own self-promotion.
[It's a lot less lonely feeling like there's a team to support him.]
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-- It always does, I fear. Regardless of the letters involved or in what order they're listed.
[ ssr or shield. perhaps it's not the cheeriest message from the woman who's meant to go on and co-found the latter, but it's certainly where her philosophy is currently residing. ]
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[He bites the edge of his thumbnail.]
But we aren't the ones who need help. It's about the lot of them. And every time one of them suffers and dies, that's on our heads for not rallying together and being the shield.
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and as for fitz's earnest desire to help! well. it isn't always possible to help those who don't want to be helped. she hasn't been here long enough to know whether or not his assessment is sound. rather than nitpick and argue for the sake of it, she herds him back to a subject that might see him speak a little more brightly. ]
Would you tell me about him? Your director. [ a pause. ] That ought to be a safe enough subject.
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[He smiles, genuinely. It isn't often that he has the opportunity to gush about one of his favorite people.]
He's patient, and fair... But more than people usually understand. I've worked with him since before his promotion. He knows when to be stern and when to be soft. He knows when to push me and make me keep going when I'm ready to give up. He knows exactly what to say no matter who he's talking to. And the biggest Captain America fan I've ever known.
[He's like the father he's always wished for.]
Keeps the base far too bloody cold, though. You might as well bring ice skates to work.
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maybe, in time, she could be like the man fitz describes. patient and fair. although she'll leave the 'fan' element to someone else. peggy carter may be steve rogers's biggest fan, but she cares a great deal less about captain america. the two remain ever separate in her thoughts. ]
He must be quite a man to work with. [ with, not for. although she finds it telling that fitz should find himself so familiar with shield's director that he can speak so familiarly about the man. it says something about fitz's stature within the organization, even if he'd not meant to express it. ] Decent leaders are difficult to find in any time, I imagine.
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[There's the rub, though.]
The Captain is an incredible leader, I think. Well. He used to be.
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fitz says so little, and yet offers so much. it's as if someone held out a box of chocolates; she can't help herself. ]
Used to be?
[ the words are tight. ]
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I think that Wonderland's taken much from him. He's been here for quite a long time.
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