She thinks what led her to the life she has now was cold-blooded calculation. She has no idea. She won't even TRY to remember what I went through.
What we both went through.
[ And now what does Remi have to show for it? Nothing. She's the one who remembers murdered parents on the living room floor, being kidnapped, forced to kill, all of it. All of the terrible things before Shepherd and every terrible thing after. Remi has to live in it, every day, and Jane gets Avery and a husband and a baby. ]
[ scrawled in lipstick and asked like a question. does remi consider herself to be the same person as jane, at heart? rather than a wholly different creature? ]
It doesn't fall to me to stand in judgment of what you do or don't deserve.
[ maybe -- maybe -- she could see herself feeling sympathy for the real remi. but what is this but a construct? a reflection? a byproduct of being here? it's harder to stir anything in her heart. ]
But it does sound as though you're awfully preoccupied with the question.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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What we both went through.
[ And now what does Remi have to show for it? Nothing. She's the one who remembers murdered parents on the living room floor, being kidnapped, forced to kill, all of it. All of the terrible things before Shepherd and every terrible thing after. Remi has to live in it, every day, and Jane gets Avery and a husband and a baby. ]
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[ pieces of it, at any rate. ]
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There are some things you can't come back from. No matter how much she tries to erase, her past will catch up to her one day.
As her friend, you should remind her of that.
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[ peggy might not befriend many or often, but she's not about to let a mirror lecture her on how it's done.
ponies and butlers can give her those lessons, maybe. but not mirrors. ]
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I'm glad she has you.
we never had that before now.
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[ scrawled in lipstick and asked like a question. does remi consider herself to be the same person as jane, at heart? rather than a wholly different creature? ]
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she tries to pretend that it does.
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[ and if jane never bothered to correct that alteration? well. good riddance, thinks peggy carter. ]
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Is that what I deserve? To be erased?
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[ maybe -- maybe -- she could see herself feeling sympathy for the real remi. but what is this but a construct? a reflection? a byproduct of being here? it's harder to stir anything in her heart. ]
But it does sound as though you're awfully preoccupied with the question.
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[ She scowls and then erases that to write more. ]
everything she has, I was told I could never have, and she only has it because of me.
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[ because whoever jane is, she was remi once. there aren't two of them running around at the same time like here.
...she doesn't think. oi, what a headache. ]
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Maybe one day we'll sit down together so she can tell me all about what it's like to hold my - our - daughter again.
[ It all comes across like jealousy and make it is, with a touch of self-loathing. ]
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[ ha. ]
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not right now. they all hate me too much for it right now.
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facing me would mean actually facing her past. Until she's ready to do that, I'll always be the uncomfortable afterthought.
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[ peggy, for her part, imagines jane is ready to face anything. ]
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it's not time yet.
[ And then, after a pause she wipes clean the mirror and writes something fresh. ]
You didn't have to write back. thank you.